I’ve long admired Elizabeth Musser, her heart for people and for her exceptional writing. This letter seems appropriate as we celebrate Christmas – a time of great joy, but for many, a time of grief, heartache, and difficult memories. May Elizabeth’s words hold comfort and hope this Christmas season.

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When I Close My Eyes: A Letter to the Lord on Instability and Endurance

A few months ago, I was in the midst of the final edits of my new novel, When I Close My Eyes, which just released in November. On the morning in question, I read James 1: 1-8 for my devotions, and the words that jumped out at me as I read and meditated on these verses were: endurance and unstable.

“…Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Here’s my resulting conversation with the Lord:

What I keep hearing in my head, Lord, is a line I have in the novel: Faith and mental instability aren’t mutually exclusive.

James says that a doubting man won’t receive from the Lord because he’s double-minded and unstable in all his ways. Perhaps I’m not talking about that type of being unstable. Or am I, Lord? Because I really, really believe what I wrote—mental instability and faith aren’t mutually exclusive.

Are they? Is that what James is saying?

But of course, that’s not the right question because the other theme in the novel is that depression is a silent killer and those who suffer must seek help. It is hard to seek help when we’re in that unstable place.

Ah, the vicious circle.

And yet. Endurance. Throughout my years of battling depression—that fierce monster that produces mental instability—You have helped me endure. Or rather, I would not have endured without You. And that endurance often came through others who helped me hold up my hands when I would have let them fall.

So Lord, my prayer is this: please let the message of this novel be one that encourages, that helps those with unstable hands to find the strength to go on, and for those who have wandered from You on rabbit trails to find their way back into Your loving presence.

And Lord, may the novel offer hope for those who care for the unstable, that they may have Your compassion and comfort, discernment and wisdom, and Your sustaining strength for the long haul. May they not preach judgment but seek help for the afflicted.

Endurance sounds harsh. But then so does unstable. Yet these are just words that help me understand feelings and circumstances. Lord, the hard things have produced endurance in me. Even the mental instability has drawn me closer to You, has forced me to look to Your Word for mental sustenance, forced me to figure out how to tape over the lies (back in the 1980s) or upload the truth (in today’s jargon).

I say in the novel that most Christians have gone on rabbit trails at one time or another and not received what You offer. But even those wandering times and the trials they produce are evidence of Your love as You call us back to Yourself and teach us lessons that help us endure.

So today, with the sun so bright and the day before me to create, please let me smile at the future because I have learned to learn from the past. In spite of the instability of Your children, You are always stable, and You give us the strength to endure.

Thank you, Elizabeth.

Won’t they find out about The Awful Year?

There is one story novelist Josephine Bourdillon shirked from writing. And now she may never have a chance. Trapped in her memories, she lies in a coma. The man who put her there is just as paralyzed. Former military Henry Hughes failed to complete the kill. What’s more: he failed to receive payment—funds that would ensure surgery for his son.

As detectives investigate disturbing fan letters, a young but not-so-naive Paige Bourdillon turns to her mother’s tormented past for answers. Could The Awful Year be worse than one they’re living now?

Set against the flaming hills of North Carolina and the peaceful shores of the Mediterranean Sea, When I Close My Eyes tells the story of two families struggling with dysfunction and finding that love is stronger than death.

ELIZABETH MUSSER writes ‘entertainment with a soul’ from her writing chalet—tool shed—outside Lyon, France. Elizabeth’s highly acclaimed, best-selling novel, The Swan House, was named one of Amazon’s Top Christian Books of the Year and one of Georgia’s Top Ten Novels of the Past 100 Years (Georgia Backroads). All of Elizabeth’s novels have been translated into multiple languages and have been international best-sellers. Two Destinies, the final novel in The Secrets of the Cross trilogy, was a finalist for the 2013 Christy Award. The Long Highway Home was a finalist for the 2018 Carol Awards. Elizabeth’s tenth novel, When I Close My Eyes, was just released in November, 2019.

For over thirty years, Elizabeth and her husband, Paul, have been involved in missions’ work in Europe with One Collective, formerly International Teams.  The Mussers have two sons, a daughter-in-law and three grandchildren. Find more about Elizabeth’s novels at www.elizabethmusser.com and on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and her blog.

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